Hey, every good boy (who) deserves fudge. We are back from our tour that we did in the mid-west. But yeah, that's been done for a week. Just popped out there for a bit, waved a firm hello, and popped back home again. Somewhere along the way we drank some beers, bought some food, and actually played some songs. Just want to thank via the ol' N. Jersey blog everyone for setting stuff up for us, giving us a place to stay, and outlandishly stuffing us with free eats like the glutenous walking food storage units we are. Seriously, sometimes we're like Tupperware containers with legs. Anyway, in leiu of a lengthy run down of our extraneous bullshit travels, here's an abridged version.
Chicago pizza is not like NY pizza. Right. I get it. We get it. Stop arguing. It's a different beast. It's fucking delicious. It makes me want to go into a coma after 2 slices. But it's good. OK. NY pizza is fucking great too. Now Florida pizza? There my friend, is where Floridians lose the argument.
This was taken in Chicago. Respect the foot.
Catman is a great cat in Detroit. He is not a man, but most certainly a cat. But his face does have man like qualities.
Roburritos in York PA is a tremendous place. Eat here when you're out there. That should be their moto. Give me $5 bucks for the slogan and we'll call it even.
Ohio has a lot of great people who like to rub you on the head, offer your copious amounts of food, and talk about the bands that they play in. Seems everyone in Ohio is in 7 bands that are equally active, and everyone fucking loves each band. It's crazy. Good job Ohio.
If you want to kill time, get a movie gift-card from your mother 2 years prior, and finally use it for your band on tour. Preferably, see Cabin in the Woods. By the time you follow this advice, that movie will no longer be in theaters.
Also, use all gift-cards on tour. It's not uncool to have lunch at Applebees on your aunt's Christmas dime, you sourpuss (didn't do that this tour, or yet, but that gift-card is shinin' bright in ma' wallet).
When in Wisconsin, stop at the Mars Cheese Castle. If you don't, you blew it. Turn around and go home. Thank you to Jeff in Black Wine for suggesting this on last summer's tour. The old me of a couple years ago? I would have driven by it and scoffed. But now....NO scoffing should be done at the Mars Cheese Castle (Exodus 20:14).
Don't pass on the right.
If you're going to spit gum out the window, make sure it doesn't fall back in the car and fall onto the back of your clothes, ruining them forever.
When in California, hang out with everyone in Horror Squad and Dudes Night. Didn't hang with them there, but did in Dayton, OH. They're piss your pants funny, and luckily my bladder was strong that night. Also, Criminal Culture from Tampa are 4 of the best dudes we got to spend a night with in Columbus. Thanks fellas!
Pittsburgh's always been cloudy when I see it. Sun, please help out Pittsburgh and its rocky mountains of industry.
Merch is fun to put on the table the first night, and then sloppy every other night. Don't bring merch on tour. Just kidding. You need to make things so people know you're not a band... of idiots.
What up, VACATION?!?
OK. So that's some wise advice from a wise ol' owl.
Been sitting around for a week. Getting back to NJ life. Had a show with Billy Raygun in New Brunswick this upcoming Mother's Day but unfortunately it's been cancelled. Right now, looking at a couple weeks off in which new tunes will be concocted and weird plans for the future will be hatched. Take care. Stay thirsty my friends. XX